Basic Questions Asked in Christian Premarital Counseling

Topics as varied as the many issues that arise during married life will be considered during premarital counseling. While there will certainly be much to discuss and couples will be encouraged to ask questions of their own, here are some basic questions that couples might be asked about during a typical Christian pre-wedding counseling setting.

Individual Maturity

Inadequate emotional, social, or spiritual maturity can each or all lead to the breakdown of a marriage bond. With spiritual maturity being the most important, partners will be asked to consider their own levels through specific questions or exercises and encouraged in areas of weakness. Some very good counselors may even suggest that couples consider waiting to marry or prolong the courtship or engagement if it seems that both partners are not mature enough to handle married life. Couples will be encouraged to look beyond ideals of wedded bliss to the reality of everyday life as well as how to handle situations from a biblical perspective.

Relationship History

At the beginning of the counseling session, couples should expect to discuss what led them to decide to get married, sometimes including their past relationship history and how they feel the current relationship differs from the ones that did not last. This isn’t an attempt to get partners to prove their love, but to help them understand how various factors play into the survival or break up of a relationship as well as to help the counselor assess where the pair is coming from. Couples may also be asked things like how they met, how long they’ve been a couple, what struggles they have already dealt with in their relationship.

Roles of Husbands and Wives

People often come into a marriage with an idea of what family life should be like based on their own parents’ examples. Many children who grew up with a stay at home mother who did most of the domestic work will assume that this will be the role that the wife will primarily fit into, but it may not necessarily be the case if she has career or ministry duties that may keep her out of the house for parts of the day. In addition to questions about work and home life arrangements, couples may be asked to define and discuss their views on Biblical male leadership and female submission within marriage.


Raising children is one of the most challenging aspects of any marriage. Not only is it physically demanding and time consuming, but something that will test many of the convictions parents have about how children should be brought up. From who will change the dirty diapers to rules on teenage dating, there will be much to consider and form a consensus on. Counselors might ask questions regarding a couple’s decision to wait or start a family right away, how many children they plan to have, and how they plan to discipline and teach their children.

Though premarital counseling topics can vary according the various challenges that married couples face, certain topics such as parenting, relationship history, roles in marriage, and maturity will generally be discussed. Couples should prepare for these questions and consider some questions of their own to help make for a counseling experience suited to help them with their unique needs.